Even though they argued all the time never meant I stopped loving and trusting my parents. I know no matter what they will always be there for me and I'll be there for them.
Early Childhood: Autonomy vs. Shame
I never learned how to be independent until my parents went through their divorce because my mom was learning how to be independent at the same time. When I was kid I was very controlled, now that I am older I can see a lot of things wrong with my childhood.
Preschool: Initiative vs. Guilt
My parents did let me do some things on my own but they stopped me the majority of my childhood, I was restricted a lot so I felt like I couldn't do anything. My mom used to hold me back from a lot of things when I was growing up.
School Age: Industry vs. Inferiority
I remember hearing my parents argue all the time and never feeling like I did anything right. My parents were always fighting so I got most of my encouragement and attention from my older brother or teachers. I was usually in trouble at school for not doing my homework so it made things worse at home.
Adolescence: Identity vs. Role Confusion
At this time in my life, i was drinking and smoking weed, also had struggled with who i wanted to be in life. I was hanging out with my older brother and his friends, so my younger friends did not do the same things that I was interested in.
Young Adult: Intimacy vs. Isolation
Right now I am in a secure relationship with a man who makes me feel safe, loved and who provides for me, he is also the father of my child and hopefully future husband.
Middle Adult: Generativity vs. Stagnation
This is how I feel about my mother and how I hope my daughter will feel about me. Some people just stick their parents in a nursing home and visit on major holidays, I only wish if my mother was ever put in a nursing home that I visit her every day or have her live with me.
Maturity: Ego Integrity vs. Despair
I want to be able to look back on my life and know that I lived it to its fullest potential and not regret one thing. I want to be able to die knowing that my children are safe and happy with their own families.
*Reflection*
This activity really hit home with me, I laughed at some of the songs I chose and I also cried because some of them hit me really deep down, I can't explain my childhood except it was one that I do not want my daughter to see or to have. I witnessed a lot of things that I wish I could unsee, but you know, I'm working through my problems and life is getting better.
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